Don’t Send That Text!
Texting your ex during a custody case? Every message can be used against you. This post breaks down what not to say how to avoid common traps and how to protect your parenting time with smart communication.
Treat every message like it’s evidence. Your texts don’t just speak for you—they testify.
—Joseph F. Radler III, Founder
Your messages are now receipts
Every custody case has pressure points. Texts become tiny landmines: casual sarcasm, late-night venting, even the word “fine” can be twisted. You’re not just texting your ex—you’re documenting your mindset for a judge, mediator, or opposing counsel. Spoiler: Your best weapon isn’t a clever comeback—it’s restraint.
If You Wouldn’t Say It in Court, Don’t Say It Here
Every message you send is a potential exhibit. Even emojis can be misconstrued. Here’s what makes texts so risky:
They’re permanent.
They lack tone and context.
They’re often written in the heat of emotion.
Think of each message like a legal filing—because in some ways, it is.
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Texting Do’s and Don’ts
Do’s:
✔️ Keep messages brief and focused on logistics (e.g., pickup time, school details).
✔️ Assume every text will be read by a third party.
✔️ Save and screenshot anything that feels even slightly aggressive or manipulative.
✔️ Stick to agreed-upon communication channels.
Don’ts:
❌ Don’t insult, joke, or vent—even subtly.
❌ Don’t use all caps, excessive punctuation, or sarcasm.
❌ Don’t respond right away if you’re angry—wait and reread.
❌ Don’t threaten, even indirectly (“You’ll regret this.”)
You’re not being paranoid—you’re being strategic.
Text With Purpose
Custody is high-stakes. Texting feels harmless, but it’s one of the fastest ways to sabotage your position. Let your communication show maturity, steadiness, and respect for your child’s best interest. You don’t need to win the text thread—you need to protect your parenting time.
Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For personalized help, contact Radler Law.